German Differences

6am, Tuesday morning: I awoke with the crazy urge to pee. I walk out of my room only to see my host mother completely naked in the hallway. I was hoping that I could make it into the bathroom without her noticing me, what a foolish thought. She turns around and heartily bellows “Guten Morgen Eliza!” So I muttered “guten morgen” and rushed into the bathroom. Germans aren’t modest like us Americans…that’s why they have nude beaches and non-exclusive saunas. Speaking of saunas, I am hoping that it stays decently warm here in Radolfzell (until October), because I don’t know what I’ll do if I get invited to go to a sauna with my host family. I have a negative desire to see my host family naked, and even less desire for them to see me. It’s not that I’m a nakephobe, it’s just that I don’t want to have real mental pictures. It’s one thing to say: That guy drives a Hummer because he has a, well it’s really a matter of what he doesn’t have, isn’t it? Anyways, next topic…

The washing machines in Germany are TINY. Our washing machine at home holds at least 3 times the load that the washing machine here holds. Also, most Germans do not have a dryer. You can actually get a weather forecast here without watching the news or reading the paper. All you have to do is walk outside and see if everyone is spastically hanging clothes to dry. Given the few days that it doesn’t rain here, the sun is a precious commodity and completely necessary if you have run out of clean clothes.

You know, I am not the cleanest person, but I wouldn’t consider myself messy. In German standards, I am an outright slob. They squigee the shower AND the sink after every use! Not in a million years would I think to squigee the sink…maybe during a once a month clean up, but not every day. It’s a godsend that I have been placed in a family that has a 4 year old because it is impossible to keep the house spotless while she rules. I also have to take the toilet bowl scrubber to the toilet nearly every day thanks to the ULTRA low flow toilets that Germans have engineered. I’m all for water conservation…but is it really conservation when you have to flush twice just to get toilet paper down? Maybe it’s because the toilet paper here is the equivalent to Egyptian cotton 1000 thread count sheets. I could seriously make a blanket out of it. Because of this, I am limited to 3 sheets per use, but I really don’t see how the toilet paper police can tell how much I’m using per session.

Also! The water here is on the hard side and I don’t think that I have successfully washed all the soap out of my hair yet. I do believe that if some CSI person had to investigate some crime scene that I was at, they could take a hair sample from me get the exact time of the crime by counting the shampoo residue rings back to the day of the crime.
While I’m on the topic of showers, I would like to say that Germans take no more than 7 minutes in the shower. That means: get wet, lather soap and shampoo on your body, wash it off, get out. At no point during that shower time is shaving mentioned, Why? BECAUSE THERE ISN’T TIME TO SHAVE. I have yet to meet the woman who can successfully shave both legs in under 7 minutes without a.) severing an artery or b.) missing any hair. So, I’m going German…which means that I’m just not going to shave…which means no shorts and no tank tops for me. Winter is coming, no worries there.

I’ve decided that I’m going to join a Hash Club, which is a drinking/running club. They are all over the world (a bunch in the states…even one in Hampton Roads!) and I start on September 5th.. I am really excited. I have to come up with an innuendo laden name, which will be my code name. Then I show up at a bar/pub in my running gear, have a beer, go on a run with a bunch of people, end back at the bar, and have another beer. Seeing as I speak my best german under a small influence, I think this will be a learning experience as well as a great story maker.