Supermodeling

I think that living the life of a supermodel would be boring. I was just thinking about it and supermodels probably have it in their contract that they can’t have bruises. Seriously, I must walk into, bump, trip on, or fall on something every day. I get these bruises from doing fun things though, like riding my bike, rollerblading or hiking someplace. Then there are the bruises that are a complete anomaly. You take a shower one evening and there one is, the size of a credit card, and you have absolutely no idea how it got there. How do supermodels prevent those? Hmm, precarious work- supermodeling.

I think that it would be impossible to be an athlete and supermodel. For one, you would probably run 2 miles an hour due to the fact that your body has only allotted 100 calories for such endeavors out of your 500 calorie diet. But then I guess that if you are supplementing your diet with cocaine, it doesn’t matter. Then we visit the bruising issue again. You know, the inside of my right leg just above the ankle is permanently swollen due to someone (Rosemary from ADT) toeing me there in an IM soccer game in 2005. Nobody wants a supermodel with a permanent right cankle! It’s impossible to prevent those types of accidents though, even with shin and ankle guards. Even the wimpy sports, like fencing (sorry to any of you fencers out there) would probably speckle you with dime sized bruises when you were “slain.” I guess they could swim, but no…that would ruin their hair die.

What is there left to do then? All team sports, even synchronized swimming, are out. You can’t eat. Parties are dangerous because the mystery bruises loom everywhere in those types of situations. I guess that leaves watching TV. You probably can’t have a dog or a cat (or even a pig) to watch tv with, because they scratch or bruise without warning. I guess it’s better just to become an actress, or a pants suit model.